Today I planned a better blog.
i had thought it out pretty carefully and i learned one of those lessons
that perhaps we need more reminding of.
Man plans, God laughs.
instead of the blog that had planned itself to be published here
I just want to take a moment to bow my head to God's plan
and say thank you.
Thank you for allowing me the priviledges of my life
and the people i have had the honor to love and be loved by.
I cannot possibly understand the reasons for life and death as you
have written them in the flesh of all mankind,
i can only say I will miss her
but thank you for letting me have her in the first place.
Hedwig "Agnes" Bernard
a lady in everything she did, a gesture of such great kindness
in her every word, grace in her movement.
a woman who baked german pound cakes for my birthday
collected stuffed monkeys often piling them around me to my child delight
sat at my hospital bedside to pray and tell me stories when i was too sick to even speak
she was a smile on every sad day, a prayer god wrote just for me
i don't want to say goodbye in my living selfishness.
but I do see that you are as delighted by your love for her as we were of ours.
I will grieve this moment, knowing I will see you again.