Wrath.

“Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming,
but who is able to stand before jealousy?”
-Proverbs 27:4

It’s a room, it’s a darkness,
It’s a struggle.
Everything within me rails against
The betraying reality of what
I cannot control, cannot fix,
Cannot destroy and cannot release.
So consumed with anger,
Bathed in hatred…
Wrath, my friend, we travel hard side by side
All too often.. all to near.
What can I do?

It is a sin to be wrathful,
It is a sin to have your heart
So devoured by the destruction of anger.
But I am a child of God,
Made in his own image.
Why would he give me such rights?
The way I see it Wrath belongs to God,
He wears it wisely and hands it out accordingly..
Why let it settle itself so snugly under
My skin knowing I cannot resist it..
What it produces in these times
Is all I have left to survive on.
Am I such a sinner?
Am I such a sin?

No,
Its not quite that easy.
I want it to be, I want to be angry and
Powerful.
I want to tear flesh from bone
And bears my teeth in laughter
I want so much to be without anything
But this delicious hatred of all things.
But that’s not it.
That’s not what feeds the fires…

I have loved once,
Lead so deeply astray by it, blinded so willingly.
I gave into the warmth and peace of it.

Oh, what fools these mortals be!

Now, love has no home in my heart.
It is in that void, that cancerous hole,
That wrath breeds..
Shakes loose it’s wings
And begins its flight.. scraping claws through
All pain..
All devastation.
Resurrecting the dead that lay in my battlefield
Every wound blazing anew
Every loss consuming the light..
How could you? How could this be?

So we weep newly, we bleed newly,
Screaming and beating fists against our
Chests..
These ghost soldiers of mine..
These bleeding wrecks of pain!
Can there be no rest??
Is this God’s love? Is this hell what I am
To trust and believe in?
Fires that burn cold, infections in the soul
That I cannot even hope to heal?

Wrath, you winged beast of destruction,
Is there no other way to embrace this pain..
No other way to love.

The sad truth..
As I deem myself unworthy,
As I call God down from his throne..
As I find myself growing distant and cold…..
The sad truth?

“For the wages of sin is death...”

and mine cannot come swift enough……